


Timshel

by iknowhowmystoryends (gorgeouschaos), sams_spirit_halloween_wig



Series: ink [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Choices, Fate & Destiny, Gen, If Supernatural (TV) Were on HBO, Tattoos, because that's this universe, the concept of timshel, what do you mean that's not a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:35:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28278477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgeouschaos/pseuds/iknowhowmystoryends, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sams_spirit_halloween_wig/pseuds/sams_spirit_halloween_wig
Summary: Timshel. Thou mayest.Not you can, not you should, but you may.You have the ability to triumph over sin, if you so choose. That is what God gave humanity.Choice.Sam gets the word tattooed on the back of his neck.
Series: ink [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2053926
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	Timshel

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who have read East of Eden.

Sam reads _East of Eden_ in his second sophomore AP English class. Or, rather, he reads the first few chapters in that class and steals the book when John moves them from Texas to Wyoming. Sam reads the rest on the drive there, ignoring the nausea reading in the car always gives him. 

Timshel. Thou mayest. 

Not you _can_ , not you _should_ , but you _may_.

You have the ability to triumph over sin, if you so choose. That is what God gave humanity. 

Choice. 

Sam tries to explain the concept of _timshel_ to his brother somewhere around Sterling, Colorado. It’s a peace offering of sorts, on both their parts. It’s an apology for the things Sam said and the things Dean didn’t. 

Dean, to his credit, listens. Or, at least, he listens until Sam brings up the issue of fathers in the book _._ Then he turns Judas Priest up too loud for Sam to talk.

Sam sighs and turns back to the beginning of the book. 

Sam rereads _East of Eden_ three times before Stanford. It’s the only book he brings with him to college, the only one Dean can hold John off long enough for him to pack.

Dean tries to give Sam money as he drops Sam off at the bus stop; Sam refuses to take it. He’s halfway to California before he finds the money Dean snuck into his duffel. 

It’s more than Dean has to give. Sam intends to mail it back, but winds up standing in front of a tattoo parlor in Palo Alto with the wad of twenties crumpled in his hand. 

Sam gets _timshel_ done on the back of his neck. It’s mostly hidden by the fall of the hair that his father hates so much, but it’s there. After it’s healed, Sam rubs at it when he’s stressed or facing a choice. It’s a tell John would have yelled at him for, so Sam keeps it. 

Sam’s rubbing the back of his neck when he asks Jess out. She’s the first person to notice the habit. 

They spend most of their first date talking about Steinbeck’s works. Sam’s pretty sure she’s the one by the end of the night. 

Dean never asks about the word on the back of Sam’s neck. They fight about John instead. 

(If Sam finds a battered cassette tape labeled _E.O.E._ in Dean’s scrawl under his seat, he doesn’t bring it up.)

Ruby doesn’t like the tattoo. She doesn’t like most of his tattoos, admittedly, doesn’t like the wings or the scripture or the one that reads _worthy of salvation_ , but she comes back to _timshel_ more frequently than the others. 

“We don’t have a choice,” Ruby says, carding her fingers through his hair. “Not really. You’re good, I’m bad, that’s how it is. No matter what choices I make now, I’m already damned.”

Sam presses a kiss to her thigh. “But you can still choose what you do with your damnation.”

Ruby snorts. Sam doesn’t press the issue, and he certainly doesn’t think about an angel calling him _the boy with the demon blood_ and shaking his hand anyway.

Sam’s got one hand on the tattoo when he decides to kill Lilith. 

Sam’s got one hand on the tattoo when he decides to say yes to Lucifer. 

Sam’s got one hand on the tattoo when he decides to let the Trials kill him.

Sam’s got one hand on the tattoo when he decides to let Magda live. 

(Even if it doesn’t make a damn bit of difference in the end, Sam made his choice.

It is, Sam thinks, a stunningly obvious metaphor for everything he’s ever done.)

Sam’s got one hand on the tattoo when he decides to let Jack live. 

Sam's got one hand on the tattoo when he decides not to call the ambulance.


End file.
